Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Different Journey

It's been a long while since I've posted anything on this blog. A LOT has changed. There are "people" who say "people don't change". People do change, but rarely do their personalities change.
For example, I am very strong willed, at times stubborn, empathetic, sympathetic, trusting yet skeptical, enduring, excited, lover of life, overthinking, run-on thoughts, talkative, thoughtful, lover of the arts, self-absorbed, giving, care to much what others think, .... I was going somewhere with this... forgetful. Seriously, I'll probably have complete memory loss by the times I'm 50.  It's as if I have so much running through my mind I get distracted by other thoughts that are more important than the ones I thought were important.

Isaac and I left the "Mormon Church". Shocking considering the level of conviction I portrayed in this blog. Those feelings and thoughts were very real at the time... and now I want to go and smack myself upside the head and say, "What were you thinking!". I am more careful what I tell people I believe or don't believe, but that doesn't mean I keep it all bottled up and I'm ashamed of what I do believe.

Yes, I am what most would call "atheist". Which, I have learned is not someone who believes in "nothing", but rather, someone who does not believe in a theistic god. Sure, we all started out from something somewhere. I do not have the answer to where and what as I am sure many of you who are reading this think you do based off a book or personal experience. Maybe you are right, but maybe you're not. But I assure you I do believe in something, and that something is the HUMAN spirit. It has taken me a while to figure this out, maybe I'll hash that out in another blog.

Let be real, these blogs are for me to run through my thoughts and maybe have you glean some sort of incite or open your mind a little into my brains inner-workings. I have pissed people off with my words (unintentionally, I can tell you), so please, don't take any of my words as personal attacks.

My thoughts continue to develop as I get older. I find myself getting bitter towards those who are younger, yet seem to have it all figured out. It's hard to not constantly compare myself to others. With that being said, I am very happy in my life right now. There are times I stress out, but I have taken steps to learn to better control my stress. I 100% believe in self improvement, and for each individual that journey is different. Setting goals makes me happy, and letting go of people's negative opinions is at the top of my "to-do" goals. Turning away from a church who's fellowship made me happy was one of the hardest things I've done (not the hardest, if you know me you know I've had many struggles). Being true to what I believe regardless to what others may think is the part of me I have stayed true to: being bold in the face of adversity.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Southwestern Company: Remember the Pony Sales School




This was a message I have listened to many many times when selling in my summer. But it's a good one just for life. :-) Enjoy!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Pastor Jeffress

After listening to Pastor Jeffress heated discussion claiming that "Mormons" are not Christians and that all "Mormons" are going to hell, and no "real Christian" would vote for someone who is "Mormon" I got waaaaay defensive. It also helped me to realize how strong and firm I am in my testimony and faith of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the actual name of the church, NOT the "Mormon" church. 
Why are there so many people that want to take down the church? Why are there so many people... "Christians" that claim they "know enough" to know that we are not Christians?

My logic is this:
Atheists don't believe in anything.
Christians believe in Christ's teachings. 
Latter-day saints (aka "Mormons") believe in Christ's teaching and that there is a modern day prophet to lead and guide the church today (instead of having a million and one different interpretations of the Gospel of Jesus Christ).

The Atheists say to the Christians, "I don't need your make believe God. You are dumb for believe such an old folk tail, get real."
The Christians say to the Mormons, "I don't believe there was anything past the book of Revelation, the Holy Bible is enough, I don't need another book or a modern day prophet, you're so stupid/mislead for believing a man and a made up book."
The Mormons say to all, "we have the whole truth, all we ask is that you have enough faith and trust to at least ask God of the truthfulness (not some website, not another book about Mormons, not what other people think). 

If someone was truly being honest with themselves, and not so worried about what others think, they too might have the peace and happiness I am experiencing (not to say they don't already, but since when do we stop growing and developing and determine "I don't need more peace and happiness than what I have right now?") My life is far from perfect, I have struggles with health and with work. God doesn't take those struggles away, he just gives me a way to better deal with my trials. As a Latter-day Saint, I try my hardest to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, but heck, I am FAR from perfect. There are days you might swear I have no belief, and on that day, I just might really be struggling, feeling lonely, depressed, angry for whatever reason: I AM HUMAN. But God gave us a way to peace and happiness. In my darkest hour I can at least turn to Him and he will always be there. 


Sunday, September 4, 2011

And then there were two

So, I know I have been neglecting this blog, but frankly, most of my life doesn't revolve around just me any more, it's me and my husband, Isaac. That being said, it get's confusing typing up two blogs, so my focus (as it has been) will be on my "other" blog, that involves me and Isaac (but since he doesn't blog, it's really still my thoughts). PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free to subscribe, we (um... I) love to read everyone's thoughts and comments. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Lovely Bones

Not exactly sure why this is a best seller... eh. The entire time I read the book, I was just wanting to get to the end. A little too dark and slow moving for me. I hear the movie is a LOT better. Let's hope so. 
Next, I'm taking Courtney's advice, tomorrow I am picking up the book, The Help

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Hunger Games

Anyone read these books? They are very popular and I highly recommend them. Easy to read and understand, very entertaining, and they have an extra flair in there for some political and social commentary. No wonder every junior high/ elementary school is having student read these. Remember Gary Paulsen's Hatchet? I think these are better than that. They are currently working on the film that looks like it will be out this spring. I'm so excited! 

I almost want to re-read them, but so soon? That could be over kill. 
Yesterday on my lunch I picked up a library card and a new book to read, Lovely Bones. Only three chapters in and the book has be on the edge of my seat. I might watch the movie too, but I didn't hear the greatest reviews. Same with Time Travelers Wife. I really loved that book, but haven't brought myself to actually rent the movie. Maybe I'll have time this week to watch those movies since Isaac is gone (he would never want to sit and watch those, although he would just to make me happy). 

Any other suggestions for good books people have read lately?

Miracle Drug

I don't have the chance to see the specialist until the 25th of this month, in the mean time, I've been in so much pain it just sucks. The thought of me even being in this much pain in my life (other than when pregnant) never crossed my mind. It's all I can do to drag myself out of bed in the morning, stand on my feet all day at work, then feel like death is knocking on my door by the time I'm off work again. 
For a while, when I got home, I would sit and read the "Hunger Games" trilogy because it took my mind off the pain. Now I am finished with those AWESOME books, and the pain reminder is just there. Isaac is such a trouper. I've not been these most ideal newly-wed wife, but he still loves me so much. The pain causes me to have mood swings, just because I am so uncomfortable I become angry at everything and everyone. I don't like that person. 
Earlier this week I called up the doctor's office and begged for something else. The anti inflammatory drug wasn't doing anything to help whatever my condition is. The next day I had a prescription of prednisone waiting for me. A miracle drug! Almost instantly the pain was gone. In fact, I didn't want to go to bed because I felt so darn great! Too bad he only gave me a week's supply. I assume it's because he want's my symptoms to be there when I see the specialist so he can properly diagnose me. I know prednisone can have some nasty side effects (including mood swings), so I hope there is something else that can make me feel this great. As an example, Friday night Isaac and I went swimming, and I swam a full 1000 meters! I haven't felt this good in soooo long! 
While I'm feeling so good this week, I am determined to get things done. Like cleaning the apartment, finishing wedding thank you notes, and most importantly, exercise!!