Where's the focus?

Focusing on the bad? That's too easy to do.

So a "friend" didn't call when she was in town, even after I asked. Lame. But really, why should I be bitter?

Focus on the good. Especially in these times, when all you have to do is drop in on any given conversation and you will hear so many bad things. Day in and day out I hear so many negative happenings with people, it goes with the job. It's pretty much my job to hear about negative thoughts. However, my job is also to help people. I'm trying more and more to fill myself with positive because day in and day out all I hear is negative. It's a constant battle.

I am so blessed.

Last week I went back to my old church down in Tucson. Man, it felt so good to be back. Been quite a while, over a couple years. I had forgotten a lot of people's names (about 500 members in the church), and some of them had forgotten mine, but a face you can't forget, and I was greeted with many many warm smiles. My little brother (who is 6) went with me. His first time every really being to church and Sunday school, boy, did he have a lot of questions, but it was so cute!

Even after hearing a rejuvenating sermon that Sunday, this week at work was my worst. I just finished up having my best week the week before, and this week was a complete flop. Every day I went out to work (door-to-door) but I found myself driving around most the day keeping myself busy with other things rather than talking to and helping people.

I finally read, "Who Moved My Cheese". That book really spoke to me and my situation. I've been fighting with myself this whole time. Trying to make the job something it isn't. I am grateful to have a job. A job where I make things happen and I am the only person responsible for my success. It's just so hard to focus on working all day, instead my mind wanders to all other places and things I could be doing, or want to be doing instead of work.

I'm 25, I don't deserve to have such a great job opportunity, and I find myself being overcome with guilt when I don't do my best. It's crazy to think of the possibilities that are out there if I just focus on helping one person at a time. Breaking down my day and having tunnel vision.

This week I'm going to work down in Bisbee, AZ. Knowing I only have this one week down there keeps me going. And really, how much time do any one of us have? Again, I can write all this down and believe and know what I should be doing, but it's one thing to talk the talk and another thing to walk the walk. (Matthew 21:28-30)

It's habit forming time and time for me to sniff out and find some cheese!

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