Who wants to "just settle"?
I want to know I've tried my best.
I'm a giver. That's changed since I was in kindergarten, I used to be a very selfish kid. I'm the middle child, the one who was looked over. (or so I thought) So, I decided to be a giver, even if that's very hard for me to do. I found I get great satisfaction when I give to someone else and they enjoy that gift. When it bites me in the butt is when they are apathetic towards that gift or not as thankful as I'd like them to be. However, that kind of giving is like Jesus gave, without the expectation of something in return.
I mention all this because I find myself giving more of myself in relationships. Be it with friends, or dating guys.
What hurts, is when I've tried my best, and yet, it still doesn't seem to be enough.
So, "your best is just a little bit more"?
Not always. Knowing I did MY best is good enough for me. Knowing I need to move on because my needs are not being met by the other person and probably never will be--- well, I can't make someone else do or feel something they most likely never will. And neither can you. So move on I will. All I can do is put myself out there and have faith that it will work out for the best, and if/when it doesn't MOVE ON. MOVE ON and KEEP MOVING ON and ON and ON and ON... Get it?
God has many lessons. I'm a slow learner. I'm learning to not settle because what I'm feeling at the moment feels so good. Is it much better to hold out for something far greater? What if that "something" (someone) never comes? I know I will be okay. I know who my maker is, and I know He has a grand plan for me, it's about time I start following His plan and not my own.
Nonetheless, it still hurts. Let's compare it to strength training and building muscles: you must first tare down the muscles in order to build them back up. God is just breaking me down so he can build me up.
It's not what I want that matters, it's what God wants for me that really matters. He can see the bigger picture even when I cannot. And that I can and will TRUST.
God has many lessons. I'm a slow learner. I'm learning to not settle because what I'm feeling at the moment feels so good. Is it much better to hold out for something far greater? What if that "something" (someone) never comes? I know I will be okay. I know who my maker is, and I know He has a grand plan for me, it's about time I start following His plan and not my own.
Nonetheless, it still hurts. Let's compare it to strength training and building muscles: you must first tare down the muscles in order to build them back up. God is just breaking me down so he can build me up.
It's not what I want that matters, it's what God wants for me that really matters. He can see the bigger picture even when I cannot. And that I can and will TRUST.
