Love is a Verb

Someone told me this a while back and I actually think there is a book with the same title (maybe even a movie?). How true.

Although, I fine it very easy to love. Maybe there are others that are not so lucky as I am. It's easy for me to accept someone right away, and feel love and compassion for that person. For this reason, I think, people feel very comfortable with me quickly. You ever find yourself 10 minutes into a conversation with someone and you are talking to them as if you've known them your whole life?

Maybe it's because I'm an extrovert, or do I make up the extrovertedness? (and words) then again, there are some extroverts that are just super annoying (I know, I used to be, and sometimes still can be, one of them).

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive-to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before."

- Rollo May

Maybe there are times I love too much and give too much of myself, although I think that is impossible. But, maybe some people are just not ready to feel loved. Maybe they have been hurt before and have a hard time opening themselves to that love. Or maybe I'm just crazy and think everyone should love me. I mean, why not? I'm pretty lovable. :)

We all make mistakes. It's so easy to forgive, yet so hard---for the same reason it's so easy and hard to love. If we forgive, then what happens if we get hurt again? Well, we forgive again,

"And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you sven times, saying 'I repent,' forgive him"

Luke 17:4

It doesn't say, "forgive him unless..." there is no "unless". Forgiveness can be very easy and very liberating. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Love others, forgive others (even if they don't ask for it).

I was a peer mediator back in elementary school, and they taught us anger is never the first emotion people feel. People always feel hurt first, and because of that hurt they become angry. And I find, the people that love more, always tend to get hurt more. So, what we are all afraid of is getting hurt from loving or being loved. It happens, and it will happen again. And we must always forgive and move on.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love cast out all fear, because fear invloves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfect in love. We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:18-19

"Let us not love in word or with tongue, but in deed and truth." 1 John 3:18

Out of what they think is love, people can say one thing, but the action is what really speaks.

My Best

Why want the best of everything?
Who wants to "just settle"?

I want to know I've tried my best.

I'm a giver. That's changed since I was in kindergarten, I used to be a very selfish kid. I'm the middle child, the one who was looked over. (or so I thought) So, I decided to be a giver, even if that's very hard for me to do. I found I get great satisfaction when I give to someone else and they enjoy that gift. When it bites me in the butt is when they are apathetic towards that gift or not as thankful as I'd like them to be. However, that kind of giving is like Jesus gave, without the expectation of something in return.

I mention all this because I find myself giving more of myself in relationships. Be it with friends, or dating guys.

What hurts, is when I've tried my best, and yet, it still doesn't seem to be enough.
So, "your best is just a little bit more"?

Not always. Knowing I did MY best is good enough for me. Knowing I need to move on because my needs are not being met by the other person and probably never will be--- well, I can't make someone else do or feel something they most likely never will. And neither can you. So move on I will. All I can do is put myself out there and have faith that it will work out for the best, and if/when it doesn't MOVE ON. MOVE ON and KEEP MOVING ON and ON and ON and ON... Get it?

God has many lessons. I'm a slow learner. I'm learning to not settle because what I'm feeling at the moment feels so good. Is it much better to hold out for something far greater? What if that "something" (someone) never comes? I know I will be okay. I know who my maker is, and I know He has a grand plan for me, it's about time I start following His plan and not my own.

Nonetheless, it still hurts. Let's compare it to strength training and building muscles: you must first tare down the muscles in order to build them back up. God is just breaking me down so he can build me up.

It's not what I want that matters, it's what God wants for me that really matters. He can see the bigger picture even when I cannot. And that I can and will TRUST.

LOVE

So, why do you need to have something to prove you are loved? Does someone need to give you something on a special day? Being single is awesome, I can love as many people as I want however much I want!

Just because someone else gets more attention then me, or maybe someone doesn't like me, does that mean I am incapable of love? Or being loved?

Don't take anything personal. If I don't have a "special" someone, then it's just because I don't have someone. Not that there is anything wrong with me. hahaha! Who told you that lie? That if you don't have a valentine, then it's "singles awareness day" (sad) (I seriously saw someone post this on facebook, I just LOL) Why oh why oh why is that so so so SAD???? So what if you don't have someone taking you out to dinner and buying you a bunch of crap and saying a bunch of sweet sappy nothings to you? I'm pretty sure you've either had that or you will at some time in your life, it doesn't always have to be now.

Stop being so pitiful and think (for once) what you might be able to do for someone else, who's least concern might be who's wishing them a happy V-day.

Who says you have to have someone to love them?

Is there a law that says there is only an infinite amount of love, and once that is all used up, there is no more?

Get rid of the Haves and Have Nots.

Do you really need that someone to love to say you will have a happy Valentines day? Really? Is that the only way you can be happy, and not bitter, on that one day of the year? Or how about any other holiday for that matter?

Be content just to love each other.

Love the fact you are alive and able to read this silly rambling of mine.

Love that you have a roof over your head.

Love that you have family (even if you like them or not)

Love that you can love!

You have life breathing in and out of you. Since your not dead yet, why not love?

Lost it

Four pounds!!

I've lost 4 pounds since I started working out about 4 weeks ago.

My starting weight was very close to 125 (124.8), now I'm just a little over 120. (120.2).

:)

What am I doing? Well, I started seeing the biggest lose when I began to run and work with a personal trainer.

I feel as though someone has taken a baseball bat to my abs and hips. ouch! but very much worth it.

My target weight it 114, so I have 6 more pounds to go. Ideally I would like to get down to my high school weight (109), but I didn't have much muscle, so I figure with the added muscle I should be around 114 (at least that's what I was when I was training for a triathlon).

After my short 20 min jog today, I had a hard time believing I actually ran an Olympic distance triathlon (bike, swim, run). I'm barely running 2 miles, how the heck to I run 6miles after swimming for a mile then biking for 26miles??? wow, but I did it, so I'll get back to it all again. I'm starting out with running, a little bit of swimming, and maybe when I'm brave enough I'll add back the bike.

It feels good to be getting back into shape.

If thousands of people from across the world can compete on national TV and fail, I can do my part of getting myself back into it.

GOOOOOOO Olympics!!

"Adam"

http://festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/films/adam

Is it a bad thing that I absolutely love and almost always prefer to watch movies alone? When watching a movie with someone else I feel the need to have some commentary, yet, I HATE it when someone else asks questions while the movie is going or adds in their own personal commentary. Plus, I'm free to cry and laugh whenever I want without having someone stare at me asking, "are you crying?"

"He's Just Not That Into You"

I could go on forever, but I'll try to keep this short. try




Got the book about 4 or 5 years ago (sophomore or junior year of college) and it really gave me a new incite. Too bad it lasted all of maybe a month, until another guy came along who completely blinded me. ... but for the most part the principles remain the same. Apparently most girls know when a guy isn't into them, well, for me, I'm a dreamer, so there are times when a guy is into me and I have no idea, OR (and this happens more then I'd like) I don't realize when a guy really isn't that into me.

Solution?

Get my heart off my sleeve and get real. When I'm really living my life, I have not time to contemplate if a guy likes me or not, I have too much going on. If for nothing else, college helped me to go through some pretty crummy guys, so, hopefully, I can be more alert.

Just finished the movie. I've been wanting to see it, but I've heard mixed reviews--- I believe these mixed reviews highly depend on the persons own love life and their experiences.

Guys are pretty easy to figure out (for the most part). I've learned a lot. And while there are exceptions, I'm sick of holding out for them. So what if I mess up along the way?? That's what's suppose to happen.

Long distance SUCKS. So why is it that they guys I fall for live so friggen far away???? There is more mystery to them. AND no real commitment for that matter. Do I fear commitment? No. But seems most guys I'm with do (or at least a commitment with me, lol).

It's actually funny to me. I know I'm pretty darn cute, athletic, and energetic---well, I'm marketable, lets put it that way---so it's not that I'm worried if guys will like me, that will happen when it happens. My biggest worry is when? When is it going to happen? And does it just "happen?"

The play "Waiting for Godot" by Beckett, has got to be one of my favs--- the moral, the point, the theme, whatever you want to call it is very clear

NO ONE IS COMING.




Sure I believe in God and all that jazz, that's not what I'm talking about. As far as me pinning away for that perfect someone, well, it's pretty much a waist of time.

I know I'm not meant to live out my existence alone. But I'm caring out my late grandmother's wishes, "have fun while you're young!" She would often say, "go out, play the field, you'll have plenty of time to get married and have kids". I'm in no rush, when it happens, it'll happen........................so true with many many many things in our life that aren't directly in our control.


I'm enough. :)

Live to Dream or Dream to Live?

Too much thinking and not enough "doing". If I did even half as much as I thought, I'm pretty sure this world would be turned up side down--- or at least my life would be. I have enough thoughts to fill more than one lifetime. How much time do we spend thinking? And where does all that thinking leave us?

Or lead us?

Yes, there is time for dreaming, when we are sleeping, but really, what's the point of dreaming in the day? Why?? I ask this question because I do waaaaayyy too much of it. So much that it effect my work. I think of what I'd like to have a lot, but even less time is spent taking the action needed to reach this dream.

My dreams are very realistic. But if I could live in my dream without the work-what a world that would be! So what's more important, the dream or the reality? Both require sacrifice.

I want to live my dreams. They are so wonderful, it would be great to actually feel, smell, touch, and taste them. Yum!

I begin to live my dream.